Soul

And when life's sweet fable ends,

Soul and body part like friends;

No quarrels, murmurs, no delay;

A kiss, a sigh, and so away.

The meeting...

Today I was away for almost 7-6....what a long working hour time....7.30-2.00 I was at my working place..teaching...and teaching and also got some job to be completed...ad-hock! Last minute had to attend meeting with 'PPD officers". So the meeting was so far so good...not many new-face...look. The meeting was attended by Senior assistant teachers, head of department...and coordinators..I felt as tiny as ant amongst the senior teachers...it was lucky..for me no need to present the post mortem for SPM 2008..actually I am still not in a good mood..still up set with the thing happened these few days...and still thinking for the reason..WHY? but surely it will not help much...n till the end will not get the answer....nway...just leave it n accept it...till then...bye..

Tapi bukan aku..

jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku
ku tak ingin kau semakin kan terluka
tak ingin ku paksakan cinta ini
meski tiada sanggup untuk kau terima

aku memang manusia paling berdosa
khianati rasa demi keinginan semua
lebih baik jangan mencintaiku aku dan semua hatiku
karena takkan pernah kau temui, cinta sejati

reff:
berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini
dan jangan kau tangisi lagi
sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali padamu
sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma
sebab rasa ku tlah mati untuk menyadarinya

semoga saja kan kau dapati
hati yg tulus mencintaimu
tapi bukan aku

Macam-macam hal

Aduhai..lately banyak betul perkara unexpected berlaku...Malam tadi sim card aku masalah..agaknya dah k.o kot..bermula dengan Nokia 6280 aku buat hal yang macam2...kadang kala sim card reject la..itu la..ini la hinggakan aku naik fed-up...then malam td terus sim card primer number tu k.o...dan sekarang plak...telefon aku yang satu lagi tertinggal plak kat sekolah...aku sedar when I went to a shop to get something...then when I opened my hand-bag...I realised that my phone left at school..so hari ni dunia komunikasi aku terputus seketika..xapalah..zaman dulu xde pon hand-phone..elok je org bley hidup..kan?Erm esok kena attend meeting lagi kat PPD Setiu...aduhai bulan ni agak kerap aku keluar....tadi dah siap print claim...tup-tup datang plak surat panggilan meeting tu..kena hold dulu claim tu...erm..tadi aku sempat belikan ayah hand-phone baru..xdelah mahal tapi cukup la untuk ganti sony erricson yang aku beli thun lepas..macam xserasi je dia nak guna phone tu...function nokia lebih mudah rasanya berbanding sony..
Kat sekolah hari ini..everything was ok...just some students yang selalu buat hal tu...buat hal lagi hari ini..ponteng kelas...aku macam dah malas nak ambil tahu apa nak jadi dengan these two boys...dah penat n jenuh bg nasihat....langsung x ambil peduli..nilah dia..pelajar melayu, makin dimanjakan..makin mengada-ngada..biarlah dia...aku dah cuba buat yang terbaik untuk mereka tu...masa depan mereka sendiri yang corakkan, aku hanya mampu membantu. kalo mereka sendiri xnak ditolong..apa boleh aku buat lagi...
Erm..ntah la bila dapat pegi Celcom office ni utk settle hal sim card aku tu....alahai..time busy ni la banyak lak hal bertimpa-timpa..emosi baru nak stable...bukan stable sepenuhnya pun..setakat half way...hanya untuk bertahan..jelah..xpelah asalkan aku dapat jalankan tugas n tanggungjawab aku...dengan baik..Ha...tadi PK Ko aku datang 'mengadap' aku..minta aku volunteer jadu guru pengiring ke program rakan muda di kemaman Jumaat n Sabtu..ooooooooooooo..tidak sanggup rasanya....aku ada excuse untuk menerima pelawaan dia..minta maaf cikgu, saya ada hal weekend nanti...bagi lah au ruang untuk life aku plak..minggu lepas aku dah xrehat on weekend..so kali ni aku menolak dengan baik...lagipun bukan aku je cikgu sekolah tu...Erm boss xde minggu ni..tapi pemangku akan mainkan tugas...pemangku yang melantik dirirnya sendiri..hehehhe..xpelah..biarlah dia..asalkan xganggu kerja aku....erm..penat plak rasa....aku rasa mcm ngantuk je plak.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Concern

Hari ini my schooling day went on as usual...but with some difference...my students able to trace it...during chemistry period...some of my apple managed to tell me..
'teacher don't be too serious...keep smiling teacher..'
me:..serious?????????Do i look like that?'..I'm pretending unnoticed about the situation...
'yess teacher...since this morning we did not see ur smiling...ur face just like that..without smiling'
So aku fikir2 balik...teruk betul masalah aku semalam...malam tadi dan aku andaikan selepas dilepaskan segala lahar tu..hari ini aku mampu senyum girang..nampaknya aku gagal..misi aku untuk kali ini gagal 100% kerana pelajar2 aku mampu mengesan ada garis duka di wajah ku..waima aku sendiri tidak menyedari semua tu...aku masih mengandaikan aku mampu berlagak girang dan riang...walhal sebaliknya...apa nak buat...pelajar2 aku amat peka..and concern..tak semua lah yang prihatin..segelintir..aku akui hari ini mood aku agak luar biasa...mungkin bersebab tapi aku masih mampu menjalankan tugas dengan baik hari ini..itu yang terbaik kan?Kelakar jugak hari ini melihat gelagat pelajar2...menjalankan eksperimen...nanti aku up load gambar2 tu..malam ni macam malas je lagi.....

Suatu masa

Lukisan Alam

Album :
Munsyid : Hijjaz
http://liriknasyid.com

Hidup tidak selalunya indah
Langit tak selalu cerah
Suram malam tak berbintang
Itulah lukisan alam
(Begitu aturan Tuhan)

Jadilah rumput nan lemah lembut
Tak luruh dipukul ribut
Bagai karang di dasar lautan
Tak terusik dilanda badai

Dalam suka hitunglah kesyukuranmu
Dalam senang awasi kealfaanmu
Setitis derita melanda
Segunung kurniaanNya

Usah mengharapkan ke segalanya
Dalam perjuangan penuh pengorbanan
Usah dendam berpanjangan
Maafkan kesalahan insan
(Begitu ajaran Tuhan)

Hasbiallah, Hasbunallah
HasbiRabbi jalallahu Ya Allah

Dalam diam taburkanlah baktimu
Dalam tenang buangkanlah amarahmu
Suburkanlah sifat sabar
(Di) dalam jiwamu itu

Suatu masa dulu aku ada seorang kawan baik..yang sangat baik...sangat memahami...dapat kongsi segala suka duka keindahan hidup..apa sahaja cerita pasti sering sahaja kami kongsi. Dia sangat baik..sangat memahami sangat mengambil berat..mungkin betul kata orang sewaktu hadirnya dia bersama, kita tak banyak terasa betapa kewujudan dirinya itu meyumbangkan pelbagai rasa indah...mengundang segala ceria..gelak-tawa..gurau senda kadang-kala mencuit hati ada kalanya menyentuh jiwa..apa pun ia tetap indah untuk dikenang tapi mungkin hanya untuk tika dan saat ini..sampai suatu masa dan waktu aku harus biarkan segala keindahan suka duka itu pergi berlalu bersama masa yang berdetik meninggalkan aku..termanggu-manggu mencari cahaya suria indah ceria yang pernah menyinari hari-hari dalam hidup ini suatu masa dulu. Andai aku manusia bertuah aku akan mampu miliki suria itu kembali atau aku beroleh galang gantinya yang lebih indah..cahayanya lebih ceria...tapi suria itu hanya satu di dunia ini...Ia milik allah Taala..bukan milik aku...Suatu masa akan datang aku pasti mampu hilangkan segalanya...aku igin padamkan segala cahaya untuk seketika waktu...aku ingin bergelap buat seketika...mungkin sesaat...seminit...satu jam....sehari...seminggu...atau mungkin sebulan...atau setahun......................dan ada mungkinnya selamanya...Duhai hati gundah...usahlah ditangisi dengan segala takdir....usah diraung atas segala duka...usah dibazirkan titis-titis mutiara itu...jangan biar ia terus-menerus menitis laju tanpa henti..kelak binasa diri sendiri..jangan penjarakan diri di alam ciptaan sendiri..bebaskan diri dari segala kemurungan...suatu masa..pasti akan datang lagi cahaya dan sinar suria nan indah dan mengasyikkan...menceriakan hidup.....
SUATU MASA

Bagaimana kan kumula dan apakah kata-kata yang indah untuk diabadikan? Tiap wajah berkisar tiap madah bererti, manakah ilhamku?

Cahaya di matamu, senyum dibibirmu

mengukir seribu tanda pertanyaan. Mungkinkah kau jua dalam kerinduan. Di saat begini aku merindukan. Berpucuk-pucuk surat terbiar di depanku tak dapat kuutuskan. Kuramas semua dan kubuangkan jauh dari pandangan. Lalu aku kesal kukumpul semula, tak dapat kunyatakan apa yang kurasa. Andai engkau tahu gelora hatiku, mungkinkah kau sahut jeritan batinku. Dengarkanlah panggilanku. Dengarkanlah lagu untukmu. Oh angin lalu, kau sampaikan rasa rindu yang membara kepadanya. Warna-warna cintaku kian pudar bersama malam yang gelap gelita. Entahkan kau rasakan apa yang kurasa atau kau tak endah. Tapi ku percaya semua telah tertulis dan niat suciku takkan dipersiakan. Dan di suatu masa di hari yang indah kuhulur tanganku lalu kau terima.

MuNgKIn aKan dApaT Aku BuaNg SegaLa....anDai aku Mampu...aku terkesima...terkedu...kelu seribu bahasa..tiada kata mampu terucap...tiada bahasa terindah untuk ku karang...tiada pujangga untuk ku bahasakan...apa yang mampu..hanyalah...terima segala dengan penuh redha. Andai ini yg termaktub penyudahnya...maka aku terima...andai aku mampu ulang semula masa lalu...aku ingin kembali pada saat pertama kau hadir meghulurkan salam persahabatan...

Laguku Untukmu

Kehadiran membawa seribu erti
Terasa bagaikan suatu mimpi Indah mahligai yang kita bina Impian kini terlaksana sudah
Tiada ku terlintas akan terjadi Kita kan terpisah jua akhirnya Sejenak ku terfikir segala Oh keindahan bersamamu

( 1 )
Kembalilah kasih kepada diriku
Hidupku sepi tanpa kehadiranmu
Dengar rayuanku jeritan batinku
Masih dahagakan kemesraanmu
Hanya kau yang ku cinta tiada kedua
Usah biar ku menderita

Setelah kau pergi tiada kembali Pilunya tak dapat ku menggambarkan Abadi kasihku yang amat suci Biarku yang dalam kegelapan
Dengarlah dendangan laguku untukmu
Suara hati lambang suci murni
Berat saatku dilamun rindu
Setelah lama dikau pergi oh...
Kasihku... oh...

( 2 )
Kembalilah kasih kepada diriku
Hidupku sepi tanpa kehadiranmu
Dengar rayuanku jeritan batinku
Masih dahagakan kemesraanmu
Hanya kau yang ku cinta tiada kedua
Usah biar ku menderita

Setelah kau pergi tiada kembali
Pilunya tak dapat ku menggambarkan
Abadi kasihku yang amat suci
Biarku yang dalam kegelapan
Kasihku... oh...

Antara sedar atau tidak...kami hanya KAWAN...SAHABAT..TEMAN...yang mampu berkongsi segala apa cerita....namun bukan kudratku untuk menghalang pilihannya untuk mengakhiri segalanya hingga noktah terakhirnya pada saat papan kekunci bergerak laju menarikan tarian cha-cha mungkin..atau bergerak mengikut rentak jari-jemariku mencipta kata indah terakhir sebagai penghormatan terakhir untuk dia...Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirkuMengagumi tanpa di cintaiTak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagiaDengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmuTelah lama k upendam perasaan ituMenunggu hatimu menyambut dirikuTak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalahBahagia untukkuBahagia untukkuKu ingin kau tahuDiriku di sini menanti dirimuMeski ku tungguHingga ujung waktukuDan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanyaDan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini sajaTuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanyaDan biarkan rasa iniBahagia untuk sekejap saja....Jika memang diriku Bukan lah menjadi pilihan hatimu Mungkin sudah takdirnya Ka u dan aku takkan mesti bersatu Harus slalu kau tau Kumencintamu disepanjang waktuku Harus slalu kau tau Semua abadi untuk slamanya Karena kuyakin cinta dalam hatiku Hanya milikmu sampai akhir hidupku Karena kuyakin disetiap hembus nafasku Hanya dirimu satu yang slalu kurindu....terus-menerus aku rancak mearikan jari-jemariku mengikut rentak hatiku...irama dan temponya mungkin agak bercampur..berbaur kesedihan...ada suka...ada tawa...dan terselit..terpalit duka dan luka...yang mungkin tak mampu dielakkan lara ini pasti akan menghantui diri..hingga ke suatu masa aku mampu lenyapkan segalanya...Ya Allah...kuatkan hati ini...tabahkan sekeping hati kecil ini...andai ujian sekecil ini aku menyerah kalah...apakah tandanya Iman ku cetek....Ya Allah...aku mohon kekuatan hati ini berterusan...mohon semangat diri terus gah bersama untuk perjuangan yang masih belum selesai...Aku masih berteka-teki..untuk apa segalanya berlaku?atas alasan apa...rasionalnya di mana...??????????Sesungguhnya aku kelu...kaku untuk terus kerahkan saraf akalku bekerja mencari jawapan yang entah betul entahkan tidak...aduhai....sahabat..lara apakah yang kau berikan untukku...cerita apa yang kau garapkan untuk hidup kali ini...

From the Heart...........................
There was a time when our dreams felt so real
Just out of reach but not too far to feel
Together we'd finally make them come true
'Cause anythings possible when i was with you
But they kept on saying we'd never amount to anything....

All of the dreams we built up from the ground
They never believed them they just tore them down
We will rebuild them from the start, we will rebuild them from the heart

'Cause once all we wanted seemed so far away
But with everystep it was closer each day
The more that we tried it was within our grasp
The more that they told us that it wouldn't last
And everyone said we were crazy for giving up everything....

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright
But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

La Isla Bonita..........................tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......Happy as I am....

Last night I dreamt of san pedro
Just like I'd never gone, I knew the song
A young girl with eyes like the desert
It all seems like yesterday, not far away

Chorus:
Tropical the island breeze
All of nature wild and free
This is where I long to be
La isla bonita
And when the samba played
The sun would set so high
Ring through my ears and sting my eyes
Your Spanish lullaby

I fell in love with San Pedro
Warm wind carried on the sea, he called to me
Te dijo te amo
I prayed that the days would last
They went so fast

(Chorus)

I want to be where the sun warms the sky
When it's time for siesta you can watch them go by
Beautiful faces, no cares in this world
Where a girl loves a boy, and a boy loves a girl

Last night I dreamt of San Pedro
It all seems like yesterday, not far away

(Chorus)

Ta-la-ta-ta-taa

(Chorus)

La-la-la-la-la-la-laaa
Te dijo te amo
La-la-la-la-la-la-laaa
Spoken: El dijo que te ama

Pa-pa-la-pa-pa pa-pa-pa-pahaaa
Aha, aha-ahaaa
La isla bonita
Ahaa, aha-ahaaa.

Aku merapu apa lagi untuk kali ini..........?????????????Ntahlah...agaknya jiwa kacau..onar...sadis...segala mcm rasa ada....masam..kelat..pahit...tawar....maka jadinya aku merapu untuk kesekian kalinya.....mata ni tak MENGANTUK LAGI....harapnya aku xpenat giler esok..n moga hari esok hidup aku kembali ceriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!Dah aku xnak teruskan kemerapuan aku malam ni..dah la tu..dah penuh aku paste lagu yang ntah apa2....hehehehehehehe...au saja nak test power untuk mengarang ayat puits..aku cuba imagine yang aku tengah resah..duka gundah gulana....wakakakakakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........ok la...taddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Weekend..

Today wake up a bit early compared to my previous weekends...but if compared to weekdays...definitely later than it..Things completely done this morning:

1. Cleaning my room...
2. Tidying my room
3. Finishing the unfinished things
4. Washing clothes

So..now waiting for to do some kitchen-work...I have to prepare the grinding coconut..it means I have to 'mesin' or 'kukur' that coconut lah....hheheheheheheh....esok ada kursus lagi...satu hari. Kat Besut..xnak g macam rugi kalo xpagi..so apa2 hal kena pegi la..bulan ni byk keluar compared dgn bulan2 lepas..langsung xg mana2...so bley la claim..hehehehehehe..claim xway lagi...claim mileage je la....lepas ni next week PKBM plak camping,,,macam malas nak gi tapi segan plak kat Ustazah yang anak 4 tu...bersemangat waja dia kalo bab2 camping..angkut semua anak2 dia yang agak lasak tu..aku pon xtahan kadang2 nak tengok kelasakan anak2 dia..tapi itulah hakikat seorang ibu...akak tu lembut sangat...nak marah macam xmarah...heheheheheeh.....sukanya aku mengata anak orang..anak aku nanti ntah mcm mna...heheheh..anak aku????????????????Wakakakakakakakakaka....kawin pun x,.....tet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aku ni sebenarnya banyak perkara yang nak dicoretkan..tapi when it comes time for me to write....ideas instantly gone....ntah la...so esok2 je lah aku sambung lagi...panas ar tengahari ni.....

PBS

PBS?Parti Bersatu Sabah?????????No...no...Penilaian Berasaskan Sekolah or omputih kata...School Based Assessment..Ak baru balik taklimat Penataran Kimia....kat PPD Besut...drive dari skolah..sempat aku masuk kelas membebel dengan budak2 tu..ttng ULBS...hajat nak carry on 1st assessment hari ni..tapi baru satu group present..aku dah xpuas hati...they were just reading...aku dah mention..not a reading assessment...but speaking ability test..ORAL!!!!Geram gak...aku dgn budak2 ni..suka wat kije bagai melepas batuk di tangga...dah gtau awal2...assessment ni carry 30 marks...dalam SPM paper English..tapi diorang ni degil kayu betul!!!Sudahnya aku mula la membbel itu n ini...so will be continued tomorrow. Balik je ke sekolah...ada lagi satu surat menyusul...Sabtu ni plak kursus pembinaan item kimia...huhuhuhuhuh..kul 8-5 ptg...adush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!xke mana lah aku kali ni....Geram gak dgn KP aku tuh...budak baru n mentah lagi..tapi agak keras kepala....tgok la mcm mn..sibuk sngt nak expose dengan kadet polis..macam lah dapat apa2...rela n sanggup tinggalkan kelas tongang terbalik....tahun depan tu aku jugak yang nak kena carry budak2 dia tuh....tahun lepas dah kena dah..bulan 6 baru masuk chapter 6..tu yg aku plak kena habiskan..bagai nak rak aku wat kelas..utk habiskan chapter2 tu....tahun ni kalo wat hal plak...siap lah..kadang2 nyampah gak...geram sebab nyusahkan aku in the end..nnt...nasihat orang xnak dgr...degil..keras kepala!!!!GERAM>>>GERAM>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tired....

Salam..back to my blog. Just finished washing my blackie. (created this name for my car). Also washed my dad's car...just bcoz he parked it near to mine. So car wash business for today ...2..but FOC. Hehehehee...seeking for the blessing...am a bit tired after the whole day outside...not yet feel relief since weeks before..actually a lot of pending tasks waiting to be done but don't know where to start...either with 0 or 1..2..3...arrggggggggggggg..blur!Tet!!!!! Will be back to write after my prayer!
Am back...huh...a big disaster....nazir is coming to pay a visit to every school in Setiu...check for all files management...huahauhauahaahuuuuuuuuuuuuu....my filing management sometime ok..sometime messy.......................................!!!!!!!!!!!!Watcha!!!!!
Killing myself!!!!!!!kill..kill..die..die..die........................apa aku nak wat..tu yang aku kata kije aku melambak2...sampaikan aku tak tahu mana satu nak sentuh....dengan PEKA...ULBS...slowly to start it...bu the pending q...behind the list masih byk lagi..minit mesy pun xdraft lagi....surat2 n segala macam lagi,....semua dalam keadaan messy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Aku nak rehat..rilek...n xnak respond apa2 lagi at this moment!Cherio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Work...Vs...Pressure...

Today I came back earlier than usual...I had finished the handball training...for my team...and I had also rejected the offer to join the MSSM Contingent...now am back to focus on my students' achievement...hopefully they will get flying colors.
I received some e-mails from my x-schoolmates...but poor..the topic created was about the profession...n the most ever came out was about teaching...some people might saying that teaching is as easy as A, b, c..........but do they ever been a teacher?do they know what are the scopes of teaching............?I was really touched n not satisfied with some statements which were saying negatively to teachers....Am not defending the teachers..but some words might hurt many people...those outside..please respect other people...if u think that u are better than others...u may be rite but not to underestimate others....lower than u....when sitting on the top..don't u ever forget where u come from...from down we climbing up to reach the top....
~yeahaaaaaaaaaaaa~

Big day Mr. HIsham...once upon a time...

Guess who's wedding was it???????????????????????
Angkat tangan siapa punya perkahwinan??????????????????????????????????????

Words...

Salam....I am quite busy these few days....a lot of things come almost on the same time..made me unable to glance to the other side...almost became unable to handle those things..quickly. I need some more time to entertain many requests...if not I could not give a good or even a better respond...Am sorry to those people whom still stay waiting for the things to be hand over last week...I really sorry for the late respond...but I do had a lot of things to be done first...Bukan saya xnak tunaikan permintaan yang lain-lain tu..tapi minggu ni betul2 terikat dengan tugas2 lain yang datang lebih dulu..so saya buat kerja mengikut prosedur...and sapa yang datang dulu saya akan selesaikan dahulu...hari ini adalah masa untuk saya berehat setelah semalam seharian...7-8pm saya berada di luar menguruskan tugasan yang perlukan saya. Untuk Kak Pah, Kaunselor sekolah...saya x dapat lagi serahkan apa yang akak nak tu...saya akan cuba buat secepat mungkin...saya hanya ada dua tangan...untuk saya kerjakan banyak perkara....dua kaki untuk saya kerahkan pergerakan saya ke sana dan sini....sehinggakan semalam semasa bertugas, saya terpaksa menolak tawaran pihak tertentu untuk menyertai kontinjen MSSM Setiu..cukuplah tenaga yang trlah saya sumbangkan tahun lepas....tahun ini saya betul2 menolak untuk menyumbang tenaga di luar daerah...saya perlu fokus yang lebih untuk akademik anak-anak didik saya, memandangkan kepercayaan yang saya terima pada awal tahun ini...jadi saya perlu laksanakan dengan sebaik mungkin..moga2 segala penat jerih..usaha saya bersama2 yang terlibat dengan Projek SPM 2009 akan mendapat pulangan yang setimpal dan lebih baik dari tahun sebelum2nya...aminnnnnnnnnnnn....insyaallah.

I MEANT IT....

When i said i love u..i meant it..
when i said i miss u..i meant it..
when i say,u re everything to me..i meant it
when i say i cant live without u..i meant it
when i said i can see another person in ur place..i meant it
when i say no one else can ever replace u,..i meant it
when i said there is no space for another in my heart..i meant it
when i said it hurts..i felt it
when i said i feel like dying..i felt it
when i said i am lonely..i felt it
when i said i’m in sorrow..i felt it
when i said i still love u..i felt it
when i said i’m tearing..it was there
when i said i still feel like u re by myside..u were no more there

u told me u’ll always love me..u lied
u told me u could never throw me off..u lied
u told me ,no one can ever take me off u..u lied
u said i was forever..u lied
when u said ur love will never fade..u lied
u said u’ll never hate me..u lied
u said’u'll always stay the same…u lied
u said u can never live without me..u lied
u said no one can ever take my place..u lied
u said there no space for another in ur heart..u lied
u promised to be by myside forever..but u never kept it

why
did you hold my hands when u know u re gonna let urself go…leaving me behind u..n all the lies n
promises gone iwf u..wat sin i did till u hate me to the bottom of ur heart?Easily u erased all ur loves n tenderness to me..wat am i worth
now..wat am i to be..everything i do..turns out to be wrong to ur
eyes..when i walk by myself..u still think i’m a burden..what else can
i do..to make u realize..the only thing i did was to love u truly..wut
lies in me will die with me..felt by none but me alone..
i was once a happy person..but not for now..but may be for the next coming time…perhaps so..Gosh!!!

mY iMMORTAL..

I’m so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Coz your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating mind
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I tried so hard to tell myself that your gone,
But though you’re still with me,I’ve been all alone all along

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I’ve held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me, me

Almost empty....

Guess what guys...what was almost empty??????????????????? Huhuhuhuh..there was a long story..this evening drove back from hand ball's training with students...Ran to drop by to see my old fren...on the way to see her...I saw a yellow-reddish signal blinking near to my rph meter..initially...I did not care what was that light...but again for second glance....It was Fuel-empty signal....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....another miles to reach...so how...tot that signal was blinking since this morning when I noticed that it almost a week I haven't feed off my blackly....car. I was praying n hoping that I could reach the place....thanks God..I managed to see my fren..and drove back to my home sweet home...n asked my dad any extra or stand by fuel...again for the next lucky time...got some fuel..n pour it into..then drove to the nearest pump station...fuh.....RM50 to feed my blackly Gen2...then drove to n fro...to my home....Schooling today just nothing much to do except..counting on the head of presence students..rather than the absentee...It is a normal situation when it comes a replacement schooling day..many people will get excused....So do students-teachers....so nothing much to comment about this day..but the biggest success was I completed the chapter 2 lesson of Chemistry form 5.....tomorrow will proceed with 3rd chapter....try it harder to complete this 3rd chapter...redox reaction...afraid of the OTI 1 form 5 next May...hopefully I can complete it by OTI 2 next month....am a bit tired...oooo...I met my x-course mate who is also a primary-teacher...married to a teacher n has a 1-old-year daughter...but the uncomfortable thing was...the question which was bounced out of her chatterbox was...about my personal life... I tot she knows that every single woman hates to be asked with this type of question...did she try to show her concern or try to be a busybody....?Dunno but as what in my mind...she is proud with her own status compared to me..may be?I guess so....nevertheless...I was still trying harder not to hurt my fren..even deep inside..I really hate to pretend good...Don't worry...if there is any good new...am gonna break it to all the nearest frens...life is life..whatever it is...no matter how hard it is...it must be go on...........may the strength will be mine forever...my the patience leads me to the right...may everything will always be good...with me.

CRYSTAL BALL...ALMOST GONE...

Hi...Am back to blogging myself...to tell...to share what do I feel right now...am totally up set at these moment...Once I read the text sent by one of my ever best friend...All this while he is the place where I pour every sadness of mine...every happiness in my life...everything will be in his hand...but now things will be different..He is now away from me...the distance makes us apart..partially away! sometimes we use to keep in touch by calling or messaging...but now rarely happen like that...Am asking myself..where he is now..initially I just accept this situation as a part of being apart to each other...one in east n one in the west...separated by the ocean...I wander why all this things could happen now?Not at 1st time knowing each other...so that this wound will not be back again..this wound is hardly to be healed...and I need more than triple time to cure it alone compared when I used to be in this same situation before..He came to me and gave his hand to pull me out of the darkness...sadness...I know the sincere of his heart...I know how he hardly to make me happy...to erase..the most unwanted things in my life...But now..things will be more vary...and I have to be prepared with it...Am I gonna loose my best..best friend I ever have...in my life..the one who I can share everything in the world..the one who knows every dark, sorrow...n joy of my life?????????????????????? The question is WHY????????????????????????WHY ME AGAIN????????????????????????????????????????????????????WHY fren?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
It seems that life is suck! Terrible!!!!!!!!!And the way comes in front..foggy...dusty...am back to face it alone....and alone all the way.....Ya Allah...jadikan aku lebih tabah dengan ujianMu kali ini...tegarkan hati ini agar tidak ada ruang untuk aku bersedih dengan situasi sebegini....untuk sekian kalinya...aminnnnnnnnnnnnn..

Life...

Hi....today again I'm back to blogging myself...the topic I had chosen is about life..its ups n downs.
I have a simple life, simple work, and everything is as simple as myself. Running my life these few years back is different..totally different with my teen ages life. I'd love to go back to that wonderful time..spending time with frens, hanging here and there. Campus life was the precious moment which I really do miss it! I really miss u guys..............!!!!!!

Bosan....

Hi...2-3 hari ni asyik hujan je...cuaca xmenentu sekarang..kadang panas....kadang hujan...xpelah apa2 cuacau pun, asalkan kita tahu mensykurinya...ari ni xkije..lepak umah..nak kuar malas, xde mood..bosan je rasa..xtau kenapa...kalo kije xlah bosan sngt...kalo lama2 kat umah...bosan n jadi 'terfikir'kan banyak perkara plak...biasa la hidup ni ada ups and downs nya...ada yang datang yang pergi..yang datang xpergi2 pun ada...yang baru datang dengan pelbagai ragai..kerenah.kadang susah nak faham apa yang dingini....sebab ego and berlagak...isk manusia macam2 ragam...tak terlayan..kalo diikutkan menyampah..sakit hati...alamatnya dah lama dimaki seranah..tapi aku n rasional lagi...xsuka kat somebody xperlu maki seranah...ikut je rentak setakat yang mampu..xpayah nak fikir banyak2...arini xplan apa2 lagi..pagi bangun awal gila.mandi2...then ingat bersiap nak gi somewhere..tapi xjadi...n tetido sampai tengahhari...hehehehhehe..aku ni kalo bab tido...ngalahkan baby kadang2...erm rindu anak-anak buah aku..dah lama xdatang...aku pun dah lama xangkut dia orang...nanti2 la..hujan2 ni xseronok nak berjalan sana-sini...esok dah sabtu..kejap je...dah bulan April...tungal lagi 8 bulan je utk habis 2009...isk..cepat erk masa tu berlalu...kije byk ..masa beredar cepat xlah terasa sangat..kalo kije xde..memang akan terasa panjang je masa.....hari ni celoteh pun xbest sangat...kepala pening tido banyak sangat.....esok2 la plak...sambung....

cheese ice cream layer cake n butter cake...

Watcha....ladies n gentlemen...my hobby when I got free time...or to release tension...I like to bake a cake....so for last few days...I baked a layer cake...half was to fulfill the order of my fren n half was for my family...I learnt to make it when I was in Sarawak a few years ago...thanks God...I successfully learnt it....n now buat bisnes kecik2..kalo rajin n ikut mood...so kat bawah ni la hasil kek lapis yang aku baut 2 hari lepas..nak post semalam..line lembab je slow giler....so hari ni..meeting habis kul 4 tadi...lega rasa...balik mandi...aku online...ekceli nak wat lesson plan yg dah 3 mgu tertangguh...byk kije aku thun ni..hinggakan ringkasan mengajar jarang2 aku hantar on time....huhuhuhuhuh...penat weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeei!


kek yang dipotong dua..kenapa?cgu skola aku nak sekerat je...mahal nak beli sebiji...ala bukan sekejap nak wat wei...5jam baru dapat sebiji...kos?tu xyah cakap la...20biji telor...butter...bla2...electric lagi...so xkan nak letak harga seploh hengget....nak lapis lagi...kan..kan...kan?







yang ni tunggu nak wrap....mula2 wrap dengan plastik tu..then guna aluminium foil...








ni yang nak diagih utk mangsa2 banjir..wakakakakaka..bukan la..nak dihantar ke umah2 abg haku le...dapat la rasa sket2 sorang...


ni layer...oren-kuning...hehehehehehh









ni process nak bungkus le..susah gak nak bg 2..kena ukur..kalo x...xsama nanti....leceh gak kan?so tuan/puan fikir sendiri la..makan memang best....tapi nak wat tu...berpeluh jekkkkkkkkkkk...







yang ni butter kek...kena senget sket kepala nak tengok...baking process....








yang ni lum masak lagi...







ni tgh bakar jugak....erm...tapi oven ni xsesuai utk kek lain selain kek lapis.....dah try wat chocolate n butter kek....xberapa nak naik...ntah la..kata kakak ak yg pakar bab2 kek ni...oven ni sesuai utk kek lapis je.....wallahua'lam..utk tempahan kek lapis...leh order tru blog ni or emel haku...nurazazy@yahoo.co.uk..
harga..yang kecik loyang 7inchX7inch...rm60..belah dua rm 35 sebelah..sbb leceh nk bg dua..kalo nak senang..korang wat sendiri...yang loyang beso...8inchx8inch..rm70...loyang 9inchx9inch...rm80...kalo belah dua rega akan tmbah 5hengget...tp kalo layer cheese cake...harga tambah 5hengget..cheese mahal beb!..