How....

Assalamualaikum....
How?? There is still a question mark. Solution is not yet found. Till today. Ya Rabb...give me extra super power...give me strength..give me patience..I really stuck! There is no road to lead me the destination. I found myself lost in the dark forest. Alone.
Ya Allah, guide me to the right way. If this is the way of my life and I have to accept it. If this is the punishment to me, I accept it. Tears, please stay there, I am tired of crying. I am tired of thinking..

day of increasing....

Hi..salam...barakallah..alaikum...
5th January....again..the increment of my age...hehehehe...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to myself. three days of working..everything went well and sharply arrived at work earlier than past years..credit n reward to myself. thumbs up!!!!Wooooha!!

I'm still the same person..nothing much different. The change is only for my age..not myself. May Allah give me the strength and the patience thorough out this life. Thanks to my hubby for everything. I love so much here n after...nothing much precious than the presence of you in my life. May our love everlasting till the heaven...I LOVE YOU!!!

3rd day...1st day work..

Salam...
Hi....today is my 1st day of work...not bad...early morning..as I had finished with the breakfast, I dropped by at the office to collect the information since the office staff called and I was not heard the call. Lucky morning tralalalalalalaaa...met my bos and her sweetest words forever stunned me!Not only stunned but also stung!!!Blaa....blaa...bla....and I just wanted to defend myself because I was not the right person to be scolded or to be a place of her anger. Oh madame...I think you should not extend the service until you 60. I was so dumped when the things I did not do, and the authorized person blame me these and those. If I knew the stories earlier, I definitely shut my mouth to answer yours, madame!!!!
As a result,me n other friends have  to write show cause letter again and again for the collection of 2012. A good beginning madame! I salute your leadership.
As the mood swings at the school...and it slowly blown away by the wind I had a beautiful 1st day with my students. I got a comfortable time table, I got a wonderful jobs assigned to me for 2012 session. Marvelous!
Then, I just throw all the sadness into the pan when this evening I went to kitchen and cook some foods for dinner and baked 'layered meat bread'...So...lets go for the view...yeaaaaaaaaaaaha...click here ====>

'roti berlapis daging'  .....

Subuh yang dingin...

Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera.....
Kokokan ayam mengejutkan seawal dinihari diikuti jelas kedengaran suara merdu mengalunkan bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al-quranul Karim dari masjid terdekat. Alhamdulillah...syukur dengan nikmat ini, syukur dengan segala nikmat anugerahMu. Seiring dengan kokokan ayam bersahut-sahutan, kedengaran pintu rumah dibuka oleh AYAH, meredah embun dinihari untuk ke masjid, mengimamkan jemaah Subuh. Entah berapalah saf agaknya yang ada. Adakala AYAH meredah dingin Subuh berjalan kaki, menunggang motosikal (tapi kini tidak lagi sejak motosikalnya tersadai tanpa dibaiki kesan kecuaian cucunya yang belum pun punyai lesen untuk menunggang motor) dan kini AYAH lebih kerap menaiki keretanya untuk ke mana-mana masjid. Hujan masih lagi mencurah-curah membasahi bumi Allah tatkala saya mencoret sebaris dua kata. Masih kedengaran jelas suara AYAH sedang mengajar jemaah mengaji Al-quran, dan sempat saya dengar suara serak basah AYAH mengimamkan jemaah solat Subuh. Begitulah rutin harian lelaki yang berusia hampir 77 tahun, Allah memberinya nikmat kesihatan tubuh badan untuk terus berbakti kepada masyarakat. Mengajar kelas Al-quran di kampung-kampung jiran, mengendalikan kuliah selepas solat Subuh atau Maghrib di mana-mana masjid yang telah ditetapka oleh Pejabat Agama daerah kami diami ini. Kami sekeluarga adalah orang mendatang tapi usaha AYAHtidak pernah mengenal jemu dan akhirnya AYAH sekarang seolah-olah seperti anak jati kampung ini. Pagi yang dingin disertai bunyi curahan hujan yang menghempas bumbung rumah agam ini saya punyai idea begitu banyak;selebat hujan di luar sana. Saya tersenyum. Kagum??Jauh sekali untuk berasa kagum kerana bidang penulisan telah lama saya tinggalkan sebaik sahaja tamat peperiksaan SPM..belasan tahun yang lalu. Karangan terakhir saya adalah sewaktu di tingkatan 5. Senyum lagi, mengingatkan kepada guru Bahasa Melayu sewaktu di tingkatan 4 dan 5 yang selalu juga mengambil buku karangan saya sebagai contoh karangan terbaik! Terima kasih cikgu, atas ajaran dan didikan cikgu saya mampu mengarang dengan baik. Hari ini, kebelakangan ini saya terpanggil untuk mengarang dalam bahasa Ibunda, Bahasa Melayu. Tidaklah saya untuk bermegah mengatakan Bahasa Inggeris saya teramat baik, tapi sekadar biasa-biasa tapi mampu untuk bertutur dengan baik dalam bahasa Inggeris kerana sewaktu persekolahan dulu, saya amat meminati subjek bahasa. Bahasa Melayu, Bahasa Inggeris dan Bahasa Arab! Pernah mencuba untuk belajar Bahasa Mandarin sewaktu di pusat pengajian tinggi dahulu, tetapi tidak ada rezeki dan pelaung agaknya untuk menguasai bahasa tersebut. Semua itu sudah ditentukan olehNya. Di awal 2012 bumi Terengganu masih terus-menerus dibasahi hujan, dan saya masih di sini mencoret, mencatat sekelumit rasa sekadar berkongsi idea di masa lapang. Esok akan bermula sesi baru dan tugas yang digalas akan dilaksanakan dengan sebaik-baiknya. amanah yang diberi tidak akan saya persiakan. Semoga Allah sentiasa berkati segala apa yang saya lakukan, amin!

Tenang..damai..satu anugerah!!!!

Salam....thank you Allah!
Syukran atas atas  segala nikmat yang tak terhingga....nikmat kedamaian..ketenangan....tak terhingga.....

Maaf???????????????????????????????

Adakah dengan ucapan MAAF dapat tebus segala yang dah berlaku...???
Adakan dengan MAAF dapat menebus kembali semua yang hilang...yang dah pergi????
Dapat ke??????????????????????????????????????????????

Headache!!

I don't know...what supposed to say...to do...since the situation now is not so good...a bit cold...My emotion is also unstable..due to PMS...but if it was my fault...I accept it...but please don't walk away ..leave me..
It was so hard to live in sadness...it was so pain to get hurt again...But forgive me...
Hurm...2moro will be leaving..to attend the course..but suddenly I'm not in the mood...not feeling well....how to start the journey 2moro???????????......The distance will make me more fatigue.....sick!
It is hard to convince the others..especially the person we like the most...the person close to us...sometime hard to explain the reason of this n that thing....nothing much is just because we care..we love...nothing much to say...because love n care could not be expressed by words....it needs the action..n reaction...
Huhuhuh...I feel down......down n down....n this headache won't be relief in short time...if I do no take any pain killer...just wait n see...if i feel better...I will attend the course...if not...I have to prepare for the show cause letter..included the M.C...Hope everything will be ok...will be better.....Please don't give the punishment for the things I'd done....I won't do it again.........................The trustworthy is there...

Feeling down....

Down.....down....down....
WHY?????????
A bit annoyed with something......relates to the feeling....tried it harder to ignore...but the more I try...the more worry it comes....aduh!!!!
Saja cari pasal....so sendiri xtenteram....hadui! Macam2 masalah..lepas satu...satu....baru je relief...lega...2-3 minggu kebelakangan ni....baru je nk enjoy the moment ahead happily....whether to believe or not....for me it is something hard...I hope it is real....not only a day n night dream..I wish I am on the right track.....just appear in front of me..with the truth....PLEASE..........................

Ramadhan...is coming...

MasyaAllah.....
Soon n fast....time is ticking...now it is almost to reach the most holy month...Ramadhan...Wish this Ramadhan brings much more benefits....more blessings...more differences....Amin!
I wish to be good....n better than before.......may this wish come true....Deep inside my heart....the untold wish....keep in faith....
God....please listen n fulfill..my wish.....amin!

Lies...

I hate lies...
I hate people who lie....
I hate to be betrayed...
I hate to be fooled...when I am really sincere but they do not appreciate it....
God..please give n show me the way....
Light up the dark....with the brightness...So that I can walk easily...to the doorway...leaving the lies behind..seeking for the truth...

BOSAN!!!

KEputusan awal akan memberi kesan untuk selamanya..dan kini...aku harus terima apa yang ada terhampar di depan mata..redha..pasrah atau sebaliknya....hakikatnya adalah kebosanan di sekeling!

Trapped

I am now trapped!!!
Trapped in the darkness....surrounded with the high n rough voices...
Screaming here n there...blabbering these n those....
So annoying!

Andy Williams - Where Do I Begin [ Love Story ]

I really miss him..terribly!!! The more I feel...the more pain I get....This love is locked!!!
This feeling is trapped! Will never able to let it go again to the right person...because there is no suit n match place to get in...God....give me more strength...give me more patience....I need a cool..warm life...Ya Allah..hanya engkau tempat aku berkongsi segalanya..................Sesungguhnya kisah silam ini sangat2 menghantui...menyakiti...andai lebih baik untuk aku lupakan..maka Kau ambillah semua ingatan ini yang berkaitan dengan dia Ya Allah..perjalanan ke hadapan masih jauh...untuk aku melangkah...hanya dengan ketabahan dariMu..aku mampu teruskan langkah ini Ya Allah.........

Publish Post

Dia ke???

Tadi on the way nak ke town....selisih dgn sebuah kereta nak kelaur simpang SK PAsir Panjang...KEnari merah...palt TAJ....n sebelah driver tu aku mcm familiar..je...n kebetulan kereta tu follow belakang my blacky....erm try pandang2..jeling..tp mcm ye je dia...hurm..biarlah dia bahagia...xde lah aku nk cari dia lagi buat masa ni...segalanya sekrang pending...xde ksudahan jugak..penyelesaian yg tergantung...biarlah masing2 ikut jalan sendiri tanpa libatkan sapa antara kami..sebab jawapan dah diberi awal2 hari tu..so aku bekukan segalanya kerana tu je yg mampu...sedih..pedih..perit...semua rasa tu ada..tp Allah maha tahu apa yg tersirat..apa yg terbaik...biarlah semua tu berlalu dengan cepat ...aku xnak lagi terus menerus mendera jiwa..menjeruk rasa..cukup lah aku dah banyak mengalah selama ni...tapi dia masih butakan mata..pekakkan telinga...atas segala apa yang baik untuk dia...

Off...

I off my mind to think about him....I off my eyes seeing him...I off my ears listening anything about him..I off my mouth saying his name...n I off everything relates to him...coz it just wasting my time...n will get nothing...only hurting myself!!!

Hati ini...

Dalam hati ada rindu.....rindu pada yg xsudi...
Entah bila rindu itu akan pergi..terbang bersama camar laut..
Iringi kepulangan nelayan..di waktu senja..
Dalam hati ada luka...yang akan berparut...entah bila akan sembuh!
Dalam hati ada resah.....menunggu tenang..
Dalam hati ada rintihan yang tak mampu diluah...
Dalam hati ada harapan.....yang pastinya tinggal harapan....berkubur di dalam hati..

Hina dina....

Hina..keji....teruk.....ada manusia yang sanggup pedajalkan orang lain semata-mata untuk kepuasan diri...sebab busuk hati!!!
Semoga Allah bagi balasan yang lebih atas apa yang dia lakukan kat orang lain!!!

Lagi banyakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!

Hadui....semalam kat tempat kerja....tak semena-mena saya dapat call dari berpuluh-puluh numbers n sms masuk inbox tak henti2 sehingga saya terpaksa block n blacklist semua unknowm numbers...Ada orang pedajalkan saya!!!! Saya cuba tanyakan kepada salah seorang penghantar sms tu...nasib baik la dia ok n bg kerjasama..dia gtau ada orang bg number saya tru celcom chat! hadui..aku xpernah2 join celcom chat tu!!
 n makhluk jahat tu guna nama gds sunyi...patut la call yg saya jwb tu ada sebt pasal sunyi2....aduilah..siapa lah punya angkara!!!! mudah-mudahan Allah balas kat dia berganda2...biar Allah bg dia susah...n hingga pagi ni pon masih ada lagi pnaggilan dr unknown number..sms xhenti..tp saya dah block semua tu...walaupon saya block..tp saya masih bleh check rejected call log n sms log .....huhuhuhuuhhuh...kenapa la manusia ni hatinya busuk..pedajalkan orang sampai macam tu sekali...rasanya saya xde buat salah kat sapa2...xsakitkan ati sesapa...orang yg sakitkan ati saya...buat saya macam2 tu ramai lah......huhuuhu

Harrassment!!!!!!!

Since last week..I got an SMS..from unknown number, so I reply and asked who...the owner did not reply..so I tried to call..no answer and I ignored..then after that another SMS sent to me..form the same number..told to be my friend..and again I ignored..after that..the sender keep sending me SMS n also miscalls me day ..night n also during midnight.. then I called n talked to him!!! Initially with a soft spoken I explained to him...but he insisted to be my friend..so I just let him keep messaging me without any reply..till I felt that annoying!!! So I reply and told again not to disturb me..but he was so stubborn!!!  So I have no choice n talked with a high tone...with some certain words which were quite  harsh..but still did not work!! Things went worse when he started to message me about **** n also sent **** MMS...!!!!Damn!!!!!!He was really SUCK!!!!
My friend gave the solution to install the blacklist application n spam killer aps in my phone and thanks God it really works!!!!Thanks my friend...Tonight I got another new SMS n miscall from another new number..so again I put the new unknown number into the blacklist...hopefully that crook will stop annoying me...tired to b like this situation...put me under pressure...with the pending n awaiting tasks at work...another burden on shoulders to carry on...made me stress...people keep pushing n chasing me to do these n those...because it is hard for me to say NO...am not so soft-hearted...but sometimes when it comes the situation like what I am facing now..it is like killing myself if I gave the word NO! Whatever condition n situation..I try my best to complete it all...this coming holidays...days will be packed with so many activities...1st n 2nd week..full with wedding invitation to attend...camp for excellent students...trip to Cameron Highlands...n so on....huh!!! and again $$$ will be flew by the wind...muahahahahaha..till the next entry....nite!!f

Guru oh Guru.........

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires. -William Arthur Ward

guru oh guru...............

BERBURU ke padang datar
Dapat rusa belang kaki
Berguru kepala ajar
Ibarat bunga kembang tak jadi
(dedikasi kepada Hari Guru dan guruku tercinta)

Dialah pemberi paling setia
Tiap akar ilmu miliknya
Pelita dan lampu segala
Untuk manusia sebelum jadi dewasa.

Dialah ibu dialah bapa juga sahabat
Alur kesetiaan mengalirkan nasihat
Pemimpin yang ditauliahkan segala umat
Seribu tahun katanya menjadi hikmat.

Jika hari ini seorang Perdana Menteri berkuasa
Jika hari ini seorang Raja menaiki takhta
Jika hari ini seorang Presiden sebuah negara
Jika hari ini seorang ulama yang mulia
Jika hari ini seorang peguam menang bicara
Jika hari ini seorang penulis terkemuka
Jika hari ini siapa sahaja menjadi dewasa;
Sejarahnya dimulakan oleh seorang guru biasa
Dengan lembut sabarnya mengajar tulis-baca.

Di mana-mana dia berdiri di muka muridnya
Di sebuah sekolah mewah di Ibu Kota
Di bangunan tua sekolah Hulu Terengganu
Dia adalah guru mewakili seribu buku;
Semakin terpencil duduknya di ceruk desa
Semakin bererti tugasnya kepada negara.
Jadilah apa pun pada akhir kehidupanmu, guruku
Budi yang diapungkan di dulangi ilmu
Panggilan keramat "cikgu" kekal terpahat
Menjadi kenangan ke akhir hayat.

USMAN AWANG
1979

Number One Teacher

I'm happy that you're my teacher;
I enjoy each lesson you teach.
As my role model you inspire me
To dream and to work and to reach.

With your kindness you get my attention;
Every day you are planting a seed
Of curiosity and motivation
To know and to grow and succeed.

You help me fulfill my potential;
I'm thankful for all that you've done.
I admire you each day, and I just want to say,
As a teacher, you're number one!